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The service function of the Library is to assist Members in obtaining needed or not knowingly needed information of a Lost and Forgotten poetry-like nature.
Membership of the Library is Free.
Membership of the Library is limited to all humans, vegetables, minerals and other organic forms upon successfully undergoing Joining procedures.
Borrowing material(s) from the Library is limited to members of the Library only.
Materials in the collection are made available to Library users through established, announced and pronounced Circulation procedures as detailed in the Library Bye Bye-Laws.
Joining procedures are undergone by all new Members.
Circulation procedures are negotiated under Library Bye Bye-Laws which are provided to all new Members of the Library (unless accidentally misplaced, forgotten or unable to be photocopied by a Designated Library Authority at that Present Moment) under which all Members are governed when entering and engaging with the Library.
Borrowing of material(s) is limited to the Present Moment, or as long as a Library Member and Designated Library Authority are in the same place at the same time.
Borrowing terms are negotiable only by an individual Library Member bothering to read the small print on Library Membership Cards.
Facilities
Within the limits of an architectural or other defined space made available to the Library in the Present Moment of its existence, the Library endeavours to provide the easiest possible access to the Collection and an atmosphere.
The Collection is installed as systematically as Space, Present Moment, Geographical location, Context, and Designated Library Authority mood, allow.
The Library shall review space, time, and collection needs and plan for changing circumstances on an ongoing basis based on the Present Moment Time, Space, Collection and Designated Library Authority food, sleep, ablution, reading, writing, research and life needs.
Staff Anal Retention Policies
The Library Staff shall be organised in a way that permits easy and rapid communication for the interchange of ideas.
The Library Staff shall consist of one.
This one shall be known as a Library Officer or Librarian.
The Librarian or Library Officer may be appointed only by a Designated Library Authority.
The Designated Library Authority has the power to disemploy, cajole, rescind eating rights, and otherwise make life difficult or in fact easy for The Librarian.
The Library Staff must love The Designated Library Authority.
The Library Staff must not bite the hand that does not feed it but may consider ways of otherwise engaging with that hand.
The Library Staff reserves, alright?