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May your ramblers’ maps never fold up right May the catflap keep you awake all night May your favourite jeans be just too tight And then you’ll know; May the milkman never read your notes May the barmaid laugh but not at your jokes May your all-time hero be John Noakes And then you’ll know; May the phone always ring when dinner’s served May your frisbee throws veer off in a curve May your kids come to see you’re a bit of a nerd And then you’ll know; May the cat and the dog cringe from your touch May your juniors at work point out your bald patch May the rabbit get mange and die in its hutch And then you’ll know Why folk round here make themselves scarce When I’ve got my eye on a parking space. |